Ivadelle Thelila says I Can Do It

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How can the right decision feel so wrong? Was it the wrong decision? Was it the right decision at the wrong time? Maybe I shouldn’t have done this. Maybe I am not cut out for this, I think as I lay in bed unable to sleep.

As entrepreneurs, we have all struggled with these questions when things aren’t going well.

In particular, I struggle with these questions in the wee hours of the morning after a long day of work, trying now to decompress and distract myself from the heavy internal criticism and what is waiting on my to-do list tomorrow.

I decide I am NOT going to cry. * cue the water works

I decide I am NOT going to let these thoughts win. *cue a volume increase on the critical voice inside my head.

I decide I am NOT going to go to my boyfriend for comfort and advice * slowly peel back the blankets and slip my feet into my slippers

I am not going to allow myself to be convinced that I made the wrong decision and in a moment of clarity, I decide to channel the strong women who have come before me.

These women have not necessarily been entrepreneurs but they are examples of strong, resilient women. What does their strength have for me? The first person to pop into my mind was Ivadelle. Ivadelle Thelila. I allow myself to conjure up an interaction we might have if she were here with me today. If we were at the cottage, finishing up a round of Lost Heir ( a little-known card game) where she won the final round with a lone hand in "Winnipeg" and managed to not get trumped by the wrong boy. I ask for her advice.

I hear her saying “Now, Jessica, If you’ve chosen this path, there’s a reason, you know you can do it, so go and do it."

I don’t think she ever said those words to me in my whole life but I can picture her saying them.

Ivadelle was strong, kind, giving, a place of comfort, funny, like throw your head back and laugh from your belly funny, no excuses, straightforward, call-you-on-your-bullshit-strong ass woman and if she thought you could do it--you can.

I woke up the next morning knowing saying to myself "I can" and it got me through another tough day.

If you don't have an Ivadelle in your life, maybe you can borrow mine.

Thank you Ivadelle Thelila.